Pangs
So.
It seems this place a forgotten old warzone.
In the age of 140 and 160 character responses, no one has the time of day to deal with putting thoughts in this format.
I think they are missing out. Or at least I am.
By not posting in months I give in to the decline of this format.
Which is unfortunate, I think.
I haven't been able to spew in a while.
And deep down there's plenty to spew about.
Weather, work, politics, people, birthdays, parties, thoughts, regrets, stories.This used to be a forum for stories. Write them out, see how they look and edit them. Or I would gripe about habits and peoples and places. I went through my email the other day to do some spring cleaning. I would search for LJ automailers and see what people commented on. And it turns out I said a lot of dumb stuff. I still do, but not as dumb as some things in 2005 and 2006. Those were mediocre years. I don't think 2010 and 2011 were bad. And when I did have something to say it was worth saying. Reminding myself that life was good. I don't get "The Dreads" that much anymore. That feeling that even though the shower is all the way hot, you still get the chills that something, somewhere, at some time is not right. I would walk into my dorm last year in my towel on a Tuesday night and wonder if everyone was alright, if I would be alright. Not so much anymore. Hopefully I am just better, and it's not some form of apathy or ignorance. I am 20 years old. When I was 18 I thought about titling my 20th birthday entry "the decades disappear like sinking ships" after that line from a Killers song. After all, another decade was beginning. But it feels forced at this point. I bet I already have 8 or so entries with Killers titles. They are still good. In fact I'm listening to "Jenny was a friend of mine" at this point. But I wasn't feeling it. I don't think I ever updated about my current situation. Maybe I did? That's the problem with not updating in months. I am an intern at the State House. I work at pinkberry. I got an apartment in Brookline for the summer. I applied to study abroad in the fall. These are noteworthy events in my life. I am staring at a crappy piece of "art" from starbucks. And listening to rilo kiley. I read really slow. There are too many magic cards on my desk right now. My water bottle is empty. These are things that are going on. Maybe one day I'll look back and see these things and be happy. Or not care at all. The entry with the picture of Atticus Finch is one of my better entries I think. Now "little secrets" is playing. "I don't think we'll be facebook official." "Like little secrets?" I think I told that story already. I might go check on my private entries. Or maybe just days that stand out.
June 4th 2008 I was in a bad mood. And super passive aggressive.
On April 17th 2007, I was not satisfied. Something good must have happened between those two days, because it's hard to believe I was down that long. My 20th birthday party was a mustache party. It was wonderful.
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